The Assessor

The Assessor

Our regular column by a motor insurance claims assessor.  No matter what he does, he gets stomped on by either his boss or the repairers. These are his stories.

I HAD A MOST unforgettable third party assessment a couple weeks ago. My company’s insured had backed into the rear quarter panel of a 1966 VC Valiant and it was my job to assess the damage to it.
I pulled up in the driveway of the address I was given, right behind the gleaming, pearlescent white Val. I couldn’t help but admire it. Blind Freddy could tell a lot of work had gone into this highly modified showpiece.
Just as big a showpiece was the car’s owner, with his impressive grey beard only partly hiding the missing teeth and with tattoos up both arms. This bogan must’ve been in his early sixties but it was hard to tell. Of course he was wearing bogan fashion: the singlet emblazoned with ‘Terrorists F..k ‘em’ on the front, plus stubbies, thongs and, for good measure, a bandana.
The car only had a minor dent to the panel, but upon experiencing the owner’s look I began wondering whether he was harbouring any homicidal rage that he could turn onto me or the person who damaged the love of his life.
I needn’t have worried. He was a pussy cat and just wanted to talk about the car. He told me the Valiant was a sad case when he bought it and recalled what his missus had said when she first saw it: ‘It’s a heap of shit and you’ve been had! Chuck it in the tip and stop wastin’ your time!’ Now, some three years later, he reckons he’s ‘showed her’.
I started to run late talking to him but curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask one last question, ‘Why a Valiant’’
He chuckled as he explained, ‘Takes me back to my twenties when I was bad ‘ real bad! Me and a coupla’ mates were doin’ armed hold-ups and we used to knock these off for getaway cars. They never let us down. Loved ‘em then and still do. Yeah, and in case you’re wonderin’, I did time for all that shit!’
I’d heard enough and it was time for me to leave. His story though, had me thinking about how certain cars become theft bait for all sorts of reasons.
Back in the ‘60s and into the early ‘70s the car of choice for criminals out for a quick getaway, was the Valiant. It was common enough so it didn’t attract much attention, more powerful than just about anything else mainstream and like all cars of the era, easy to steal. Life, cars and crime were simple back then. These days it’s different. With the complication of hi-tech security systems in cars and buildings, car jacking, ram raiding and breaking into houses are employed to get the crims’ favoured tools of trade. It must be stressful and exhausting work being a car thief.
More so if a fleet of specific vehicles is needed for a job. It can be common for three vehicles to be knocked off before a heist. For instance, an order will go out for a heavy-duty, four wheel drive like a Nissan Patrol which is well known as a handy device to crash into a building’s foyer. It’s also useful if there’s a need to rip out a teller machine from its fixture. A van like a Hi Ace or a ute will also be ordered to cart the cash machine away. The final order is for the obligatory high performance, turbocharged getaway car for the crims to disappear into the night. WRXs, EVOs and even some Audis are popular choices.
Just the other day I had to assess the damage caused to one of our company vehicles, after a Hi Ace was deliberately rammed, backon, into a garage door for access to what was inside. The culprits left empty-handed and it was originally thought that our car, a VZ Commodore, was the target. However, the police explained that it most likely was the Ford Territory parked in front of it. It was just too hard for them to get to. The luckless thieves had apparently tried unsuccessfully to steal three other Territories in the local area that night.
Also, since the beginning of the year, our office staff had noticed plenty of thefts of the top of the range Toyota Corolla Levin and RAV 4s, Honda CRVs and Nissan X-Trails. They had been stolen from different areas around the city, stripped and the carcasses left in one area in the south west. Several were insured with us.
All had been neatly stripped of their bonnet, grille, lamps, guards, bumpers, alloy wheels, interior trims including seats and airbags. In fact, practically everything without an ID number was missing. Of course, the engines weren’t touched.
Detectives and investigators had been on the trail for a while. They eventually caught up with a gang allegedly operating with three smash repair shops to rebirth damaged, base models bought at auction, to be later sold off as top of the range models.
To make their work more straightforward, the gang had also even tried to buy the stripped wrecks at auction and refit them.
There’s no doubt they were probably being watched and not been aware of it. It’s all come undone for them and they’ll all soon have their time in court.
Speaking of car theft, statistics show that the most common storage and/or hiding place for car keys is the fruit bowl. Apparently after breaking into a house, car thieves who already know this, have had no problem stealing any near new car they want.
So if you’re a fruit bowl user, it may pay you to put some thought into a not-so-obvious hiding place for those spare car keys!